June 2026

There is something it is like to be you and something it is like to be me specifically. There’s things about the way that I am and there’s reasons for the way that I am. I am a way that you are not and yet there’s ways about me that are similar or even the same as ways about you. All I’m trying to put across is I have a personality and so do you. We sometimes meet people who remind us of others or meet some that make us wonder why they are the way they are. Personality is difficult to really explain because there’s many things that affect how any of us turn out and really, we keep changing and so it makes it even difficult. But there is some standard that should be there if anyone is going to go about forming a theory on how to explain various personalities and Pervin, Cervone, and John came up with one. I’ll try and break it down with bits of myself, and bring out some significant points. There’s a way that I am that is consistent and those who know me can testify, from the emotions or behaviour that I display in various environments and how I react to things. This we would say are my traits for instance my antisocial/loner behaviour or my tendency to be very particular about things. But there’s also a way that I am that you can categorize or is similar to others, I fit into some group, and this is my type. We have introversion and extroversion explaining a mix of trait and type and those who know me learn that I’m introverted until comfortable. These things are an example of the enduring building blocks and what we’d use to collectively describe a personality structure. But now we must ask how did I get to become these ways? As a child I was very sociable and playful, what changed? There are things that affect how we develop and they contribute to the unique persons we each are and are becoming. These things fall under our growth and development; is it our genetics that affected things or our environment? Or maybe both? Some say I’m smart and we understand that intelligence is something we inherit genetically but more often than not, our environment and other factors affect it. I was smart in primary, then the least of my class in high school and then did pretty well in university. We can’t say that’s genetics alone, my environment and input played an important part. It can’t strictly be one thing, I’ve been in encouraging and helpful spaces and still not thrived so I suppose it should be a mix of both and other factors. Regardless of this there’s different environmental factors that have had an effect on who we are and what we continue to evolve into, they make us different or similar to one another. One of these is our culture, things we’ve learned like; behaviours, values and beliefs, how we should be around others or in certain contexts and what we supposedly need and what to do to satisfy those needs. How we should relate with others and even what we think is funny, sad, healthy and how to cope. It doesn’t seem like it’s happening and affecting how any of us are because it’s not always active. You imitate what you’ve unconsciously learned and often won’t even notice until you’re in a different setting and wonder why others aren’t behaving like you or valuing what you’ve learned to value but we of course can adjust. Another factor would be our social classes, it affects our professional experiences, educational opportunities, networks of friends, what we get exposed to and the different qualities we end up developing like if you’ll value focusing on school or your long term future and its outcomes. It doesn’t seem to be part of your personality but it affects how you understand how the world works, how you think of and relate to people from other social groups and it then guides your behaviour towards them and the world especially in instances when you’re maybe treated unfairly or favoured. Your family is another big determining factor; if you had parents or guardians, if they were loving or hostile, if they made you feel rejected or protected you too much and if they recognised that you need some freedom or not. They affect if you’ll have role models or see them as such and birth order or parents having preferential treatment with your siblings or a pet affects you. How they rewarded particular behaviours or beat you for others affects how you go for things or maybe resist them in rebellion to find your own way of doing things. These various things bring about different behavioural patterns; for me their encouragement even when I failed caused me to feel frustration because I wasn’t achieving like my sister and felt like a burden and so I struggle with accepting affirmation when I’m not performing. The effects of the things we experience are not very direct, we respond differently but it’s cool to look at how you’re raised and its play into your behaviours both adaptive and maladaptive. The last environmental factor which is often considered the most influential to the personality of a person is the peer group you belong to. Through these you are socialised into different rules, various behaviours and even how you perceive yourself. Peers influence how you dress, what activities you do and if there’s conflict often they influence how you deal with it. I at different points in my life had friends turn on me, let down my trust or just bully me for senseless things and so I’m guarded, usually alone and don’t make friends easily but it also did help me get immersed in my hobbies. Peers influence what kinds of behaviours are normalised, how you understand the world and most of your first time experiences happen among your peers. How you turn out will involve you either trying to please or pull away from them and if your values from the home are not strong you might fall to peer pressure. But now I’m grown and yes these things have had their effects but over the years there are ways I’ve thought about those things and others and new ways I’m learning to think and be and this would fall under the personality process. The changes in our thinking, emotions and motivations from one moment to the next or just during particular periods. How we think about our future and the things we believe and anticipate, if we’re mindful of things happening in our conscious or unconscious awareness. From the biological drives that push us to act in particular ways or to seek after things and if at any point we are trying to seek pleasure or avoid some pain, we are trying to gain something with certain behaviours and are various needs creating tension that is driving actions or behaviours; like my performance at work to earn money or how I believe in Jesus and that influencing how I think. Do we want to help others with no benefit to ourselves or maybe we don’t, how are we understanding the world and how it works, do we have a need for consistency or to control of things?  Do we expect people to behave in predictable and biased ways? Are we interested in mastering particular skills or ways of doing things? Currently I’m frustrated with the lack of interest and fulfilment in my work, so what can I do to create change? These things are shaping what we prioritise, how we perceive change or our situations and just how our personalities transforms over time. Last would be psychopathology and behavioural change; if we actually change and why we change, are we able to change, develop and adapt in stressful situations? Or do we resist change and become psychopathological (sickness of the mind) e.g. become depressed and anxious? Maybe we are born with the psychopathology and particular situations bring it out, can we develop or learn the behaviours to help us manage it or do we regress and succumb to the effects? I used to struggle with feeling sad and was depressed for a while, I tend to worry a lot, I still do feel sad but I now work on other ways to deal with negative emotions, I still cry though. Is what we feel within in conflict with how our societies views things or is how we perceive ourselves different from what’s actually in reality and are these things causing stress and bringing about psychopathology? What is required for us to change, what environment, action or insight do we need? I studied psychology and I know of the things that can help change and transformation but sometimes it doesn’t feel straightforward or maybe I’m just resisting the uncomfortability of change. I understand that not everyone is able to commit to the change or they don’t see any problem with their behaviours to actually change and their inability to change is part of what makes their personality. I get it, a personality is complex and difficult to understand and these 4 components are like a pointer to what whichever personality theory should account for for it to be complete. Its valid, we are a magnitude of things and behave in various ways for different reasons that we might not even understand or even be able to explain. Regardless I hope you can appreciate that from your birth and which family you’re born into, to everything you experience and don’t, it affects how your personality has grown and transformed into over the years and will evolve as you go into the future. So whether you like it not, what you consume consciously or unconsciously is helping form what you’re becoming, make sure it’s good and helpful and I hope you can work on the aspects of yourself that you want to be different/better at and always be yourself.